Kinks in the Journey

Feb. 23, 2006 – Kinks in the Journey

Kinks on the adoption journey are business as usual.  God must be enjoying this, because last time we adopted I said I would never put myself through another state adoption–low and behold here we are right in the middle of it again.  (See the previous entry “New Jersey said no…”  if you’re interested in the battle we won.)


But this kink is a bit unusual. 


“Our” young man was told yesterday about his birthmother’s relinquishment.  Immediatly after that, his social worker took him to Walmart.  He asked if she would adopt him, (absolutely normal for him to do under the circumstances–at that point, he probably would have asked whoever he happened to be with to adopt him).   Instead of explaining that she would love to be able to adopt him, but it was against policy, she allegedly told him that she was going to talk to her supervisor about it!    Not only is this unethical, but it is against DFS policy.  And let’s not even think about the devastation this young man is already going through over the loss of birthmom.  And he will be feeling rejected again!  Apparently this is not the only unethical thing she has done involving this young man, but I am not at liberty to share just what she has done at this point.   Let’s suffice it to say that it appears that trying to adopt him herself has been her plan all along–even though she knows there is an appropriate, loving, 2 parent home waiting for him. 


This morning the phone calls will begin.  The fostermom has already talked to the President of the Foster Parent Associaton– this lady wants the social worker’s JOB!  And quite frankly that is what should happen.  Fostermom will also be calling the head of Social Services.  She will also be trying to convince this young man that he heard the social worker incorrectly– and if need be, tell him that she knows another family that is interested in adopting him.  In addition, Shane will be calling our attorney to see what, if anything, we need to be doing on the legal end of things. 


Normally, I am the emotional one in our marriage, Shane is cool as a cucumber.  But last night there was steam rolling as he was informed of the situation.  How dare this happen!!!  And the poor boy– it breaks my heart   In fact, I almost called fostermom back and told her just to go kiss him on the forehead for me. 


  As we’ve said all along, the most important thing is for this young man to have an opportunity at a loving forever family.  If there were another family involved, that would give him a good home, we would be disappointed, but thrilled for him.  But an evil, lying, unethical, single, social worker is not what this young man needs! 


Please, pray to the Father on this young one’s behalf