For several months now, I have been convicted of the need to live in a joyful home. It has been brought closer to home with the retreat and several other things this past week.
Oh, we have our moments. There are some things that you can't help to have a joyful day about. Like the children wearing flower “crowns” that they made, or bringing me enough tiger lilies from the field to fill a huge vase. Or putting in ugly fake teeth before the dentist sees them for their 6 month check up, or the practical jokes that Bubba plays that has all of us rolling all over the floor in laughter. Or the unsolicited hugs and snuggles from Little Bit. Or watching a sweet moment between brother and sister.
It seems like since Little Bit came home about 2 1/2 years ago, joy went out of the window…. and has flown away never to return to this date. I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but let's just say the adjustment was HARD!!!! There were many days that I wasn't even sure we had done the right thing by bringing him home. He turned our home upside down, inside out and round and round.
The first week, he hit Bubba several times– I finally got tired of it and told Bubba to hit him back as hard as he could. Bubba didn't want to, but he didn't want to get hit anymore either. When he finally did, that ended Little Bit's bullying days to Bubba. Honestly, looking back, I have no idea how we did any schooling that year with Princess and Bubba– but we did. In fact, Bubba learned to read during that time. Princess excelled in her studies during that time too.
It seemed we were living a nightmare.
Well, the nightmare is finally over.
Oh there is residual manipulation and minor fits thrown (but nothing compared to the hours of wailing Little Bit was capable of when he first came home).
Now we have the terrible, horrible no good, very bad habits that remain. You know the never ending cycle. Like me getting frustrated over little things, or making a mountain out of a mole hill, or thinking because that one thing went wrong the entire day is ruined. Like Princess and Bubba thinking that when Little Bit starts throwing a fit, it's going to be an all day event. Like the nitpicking that occurs between the children. Okay, maybe this is normal.
Like forgetting to……. “rejoice in the Lord and again I say rejoice”. And that each day is “the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”
The habits are there– and they are hard to break. Shane reminded me this weekend that I have broken at least one nasty habit in my life. (I was a pack and 1/2 a day smoker in my life b.c.) and now that I think about it, I've broken several bad habits during my life, with the Lord's help.
I want a joy-filled home. One filled to overflowing with happiness and laughter. I am determined that this will be our home. It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself, to stop saying I can't change. It's time to stop letting Satan have his way with me. God has changed me:
I am a child of the King!!!
A daughter of the great “I AM” !!!
One of the sanctified and redeemed priesthood of believers!!!
and I am acting like Satan's pawn. Well, not anymore! I choose this day whom I will serve and I chose the One and Only God of the Universe.
Oh Heavenly Father, help us all break the cycle of bad habits that we have developed over the last 2 years. Help us have days filled with joy. I sacrifice my selfishness and my foolishness to you. In Jesus name, Amen and Amen!