I Struck a Nerve– Quiverfull

Apparently, my entry on letting God decide the size of your family struck a huge nerve with someone that doesn't want to be identified.  Maybe this person is a new Christian, or a young person.  I'm just speculating here.  But either way,  they feel strongly enough about it that they had to “yell”  it to me. 




This is not the first time I have been treated poorly over this topic.  It is one that strikes a nerve with many.  Human nature wants to be in control.  We don't like things that are out of our control.  I don't know anyone that doesn't want things to be in their control 


Several years ago I lent a copy of Mary Pride's “The Way Home” to a friend that was not of this mindset.  When she returned it, it was thrown  back at me and she didn't speak to me for a quite a while.  But… God softened her heart and she came back a few weeks later and apologized and told me that Mary Pride's book was right and that her and her husband had decided to let God control the size of their family and when they were to have children.  


As for your comment anonymous– you are right. Everyone's situation is different.  You may have an unbelieveing husband– one that is not quiverfull minded. Who should you obey?  Most certainly your husband.  You are under his authority, and having only 2 children is not against the law.   Or, could be that the wife is the one that isn't quiverfull minded.  Should the husband “force” her to have babies?   Personally, I don't think this is the best way to do it either. 


I agree that we have a God given responsibility to love and care for the children He has blessed us with.  But I strongly disagree with much of the rest of your comment:  


I challenge you to find Scripture, not taken out of context, to support your statement. that you should decide the size of your family.   “I think” is only your opinion– not what God thinks on the matter.  It is God's business as to how many children we have.  Just off the top of my head, I can only think of two situations spoken of in Scripture where a woman only had one child– Sarah had Isaac and Hannah had Samuel.  On further thought, I guess it's possible that Esther had no other siblings, since only Mordecai is mentioned as her relative. 


Here are a couple of passages that supports letting God control the size of your family. 


Beginning in the garden,  God told Adam and Eve “be fruitful and multiply”  

How long do you think it would have taken for the earth to be populated if Adam and Eve had only “chosen” to have 2 children?  And Cain and Abel had only 2 children (before Abel died at the hands of his brother) not to mention that Cain and Abel were brother's.  That means they would have had to sleep with their mother to have children.  Not something God exactly condones as can be seen later in Scripture.  End of multiplying.  4 people on the entire earth– make it 3 after Abel dies.


Psalm 127

 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children  of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.


What warrior would go into battle with only 2 arrows? 


I strongly disagree with your statement “as long as…”  Our one responsibility is not only to teach our children about right and wrong.  As a child I was taught right from wrong, but was not taught why it was right or wrong.  This is the problem we have in society today.  When the Word of God was removed from the public schools moral absolutes went along with it.  Since then their has been no reason to do the right thing, and now society is reaping the consequences of the sin.  


Now we have a bunch of children growing up that have no reason to do the right thing, they make up their own right thing– based on their sinful nature.  This has produced children killing children, sex outside of marriage producing children that are not being taken care of and loved, drug and alcohol abuse.  Including drunk drivers killing innocent bystanders.  Following this line– no one should get upset about it– the drunk was only doing what HE thought was right.  Scripture adresses this as well.


Proverbs 12:15

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.


Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.

Deuteronomy 12:8

“You shall not do according to all that we are doing here today, everyone doing whatever is right in his own eyes,

Judges 17:6

In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Judges 21Judges 21:25

In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.


These passages are taken from the ESV Bible online


Anonymous, I was once where you are.  Fortunately, my husband was very patient with me and allowed the Spirit to work through the Word of God.  I pray that you will allow the Spirit to show you as well. 


I do not wish to come across as proud, perfect or knowing it all– I am far, far from it.  God works on each of us in different places.  Many blogs I have read have encourged me to stretch in areas that I had not thought about before.


God bless you on your journey to the High Places. 











4 thoughts on “I Struck a Nerve– Quiverfull

  1. Just a quick note, I can’t explain it, but I sense deep hurt in Anonymous. It has been my experience that when people lash out like that, or like your friend with the book, they are either feeling hurt, or guilty, or both. She may not be a believer at all.

    Go easy, she may have had a miscarriage, may have pressure from parents, spouse, etc…

    I’ll tell you my story, we only have 2 kids, had one miscarriage in between (22 weeks gestation), and each pregnancy got increasingly more difficult. My ob told me flat out not to have any more, I could die. Now, I know, some people say so what, you’re going to heaven, but I’d like to be here for my kids until they’re adults. Selfish? Yes, but I’m okay with that. I’d still love to fill our quiver with adoptees someday.

    Have a great day!



  2. We come under fire often for trusting in this area and being so lacking in finances. I guess I just had to say that here and be heard~LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi


  3. I will never understand what makes some people think that it is ok to lash out at someone over things like family size or adoption. I have had some very hurtful things spoken to me about adoption by people I dont even know and people I do know. The thing that always amazed me was that they seem to think it is ok to say their hurtful things to me. Did I ask? Nope! Do I want their opinion? Again nope! It just blows me away. I would no more walk up to someone who had only one child and tell them that was wrong than I would walk up to someone who had 6 or more(I have 4 so it has to be more than 4 LOL) and tell them they shouldnt have so many. Family size is a very personal thing between a man a woman and God. Children are a blessing and we should never belittle someone who has chosen to let God bless them. Maybe God has chosen to only bless you once hey that is cool. Count your blessing! But if someone else has been greatly blessed by God who are they to question that. I also get a little bugged by people who pull apart the Bible to make a point. Dont take it out of context, you can probably find a verse in the Bible to agree with anything you wish to prove but that is wrong. That is why there are the verses before and after, they go together, read ’em together. Well here I am on my soap box LOL sorry Christine. I guess I should go to my own blog and type away. Still praying and had a dream about meeting Dorcas last night!!! Hang in there sister, I am praying your quiver will be fuller!!!


  4. To be reminded of why I am once again, for the seventh time, enduring debilitating morning sickness. Oh that’s right- it’s not about ME 🙂 This Christian walk is about glorifying God, not my comfort or desire to look “normal” to the world.

    When I first told my mom we had been convicted about our attempts to control our family size, she said, “Well, I think you’re just jumping on the bandwagon.” Huh? If I were jumping on a bandwagon,THIS would not be it. I want to jump on the lay-by-the-pool, get a pedicure, let someone else do the work bandwagon. But then, I would have missed all these incredible blessings…

    And may God get all the glory.


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