Peer Pressure

Lately, we have had the opportunity to visit some new to us churches and are planning to visit others pretty soon.  One church we have visited has mostly homeschooling families.  They also have a coop.  Here is what I have written about coops in the past.  Since we have visited there a couple of times and are going there most Wednesday evenings I have had several  Moms ask me about being in their coop.   


When I am asked I always waiver.  I wonder if I have missed out on something.  Or worse, if my children are missing out on something.  I think “maybe we should consider it”  Then I get away from the situation when I have time to think about it and   “what am I thinking!!!!”  Of course, we are missing out. The children are missing out on spending one day a week with their mother who loves them more than any other woman on the earth.  They are missing out on my instruction.  They are missing out on “proper” socialization. 


This may sound awful, but my husband and I made an educated, thoughtful decision to home-educate our children (even if it was before we were even married )

We don't “do” Sunday School for pretty much the same reason.  It comes down to responsibility.  God gave parents the responsibility to educate… in things of God and things of academics.  If there is a subject or 2 that neither I or Shane feel we can handle, then we have no objections to using an outside resource.  However, sending them to a co-op every Friday to learn:

A) things I (or Shane) can teach them

B) to socialize with children their own age when I know that's NOT how a child is socialized. 


I succumbed to peer pressure and asked about the coop and the classes being offerred.  There is one class that the Pastor is teaching that Hannah would probably really enjoy, but it is for the highschool students. 


Yes, it would be easy to give in, it would be nice to have some time “off” but with most coops.  You don't get time off.  You only “trade” your child for your child and 5 others or 10 others.  Why would I want to do that????  At least I know my children…


Father, help me stand firm when those around me, even innocently try to sway me from our convicitions. 


7 thoughts on “Peer Pressure

  1. I just wanted to say thanks for the prayers and also I have to agree with you on the coop issue, I think you said it very well


  2. I believe you should stand firm! I am sorry if you have felt any pressure from me to get involved in our co-op. I wouldn’t want any parent to do something they feel is wrong.
    In defense of co-ops however, I will say that it has been nothing but a positive experience for our family. Zach and Mallory have taken classes taught by teachers I trust who have a passion for what they are teaching. Co-op has also tested the kids ability to behave as they should even when I am not in the room. I must admit, Carl and I get as much out of it as the kids. We have enjoyed every class we have taught.
    Co-op is not for everyone though and that’s ok. Nobody (myself included!) should make you feel guilty for choosing against them.


  3. I had never heard of anyone who was against co ops but I can understand your point. I believe that each family has to make decisions for themselves. If you feel it isn’t for your family then you should stand by what the Lord is telling you.

    As for our family, we have had very positive experiences with co ops! It has given my children a chance to learn things I am not able to teach like and participate in things they otherwise wouldn’t have. Most of the co ops here are not segregating into age peers but more a developmental level that spans several grade levels. You can’t find a diverse age group who is ready for trigonometry, but all the kids did socialize together anyway during class breaks and other events. The music and theater classes were very diverse in age I have to say.

    Each family needs to seek God’s guidence and no one should feel pressured to conform to anyone else’s path.



  4. I have to go with Tammy on this one and say, “stick to your guns” if that is what you feel is right. Cooping is not for everyone. I think finding a good co-op is like finding a church so it was funny to me that you went to find a church and found both. It really helps to have people of like minds so you can trust them with your children. I also wonder if you are coming from a different angle than the majority of us. You have had and still do have struggles with the experiences that your children had before they were so lovingly adopted and cared for.

    I would add that cooping has been one of the best experiences we have had in our homeschool (It probably depends on the co-op though.) We attend the same co-op as Tammy and like her have had nothing but positives. I think it has to do with the short term of the co-op (only 6 Friday mornings in the fall and 6 Friday mornings in the spring) and the fact that it has been around for long enough (17 years) that it has firm policies with which to govern by.

    Here is the thing, putting your child into anything requires an large amount of faith. You have to have faith in the Leadership, faith in the teacher, faith in the child and (most of all) faith in God that he will protect and watch over that child. I have faith in the leadership and teachers in this co-op because I know them personally. I also know that they are governed by a rules that are biblically sound. I have faith in my children because we are together each day and I know what they are capable of. We have also gone over what is expected of them. Most of all I have an immense amount of faith in God because he was able to reach me even in the most dire of circumstances. I had all the wrong examples. A bad home environment, terrible teachers, and friends that should have influenced me to do drugs and who know what else. And yet, here I am. A testimony.



  5. Good post and food for thought. We were just talking about coops today. Our coop has groooooown so big that it has caused many changes, one being a decreased intimacy or nurturing if you will between eachother. Classes used to be small and more than likely, if you has mulitple children in coop it was small enough that they usually would end up being with the same group and this kept mothers from feeling stretched trying to keep up with the wearabouts of all her children. Negative socialization has also become a factor to consider with large coops.
    I really appreciate your thoughts! Hope you are having a good summer.
    Love, Cathy =o)


  6. I don’t do co-ops either, nor Sunday School, segregated churches, AWANA or weekly PE. If you’ve taken your decisions to the throne and are honest yet humble about them, then who’s to be offended? We’ve got to be able to share views, whether we agree or not, that we may learn, discern, see what the Lord may be telling us, etc.

    Mrs. L


  7. Just raising my hand here to be counted among the “no co-op” group.

    I think Tim and I stand with you and Shane on many many things, and probably for the same reasons.


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