When Hannah was about 2 1/2 -3 years old, we were feeling the call to adopt again. In January of 1999 we started the process again. This time we decided to use the attorney that had helped us with Hannah's adoption, but the same social worker did our update. Not long after that we submitted a profile, but were not chosen. The birthfamily didn't like homeschooling, (what if “he” wanted to play football?) Turns out “he” was a she– and she has a wonderful home.
Then a couple months more and we were chosen by a young black girl. We were excited, but cautious. About a week later, we were told she changed her mind and had found a black family for her baby. Turns out, she ended up keeping the baby after she was born. Thank you God for saving us that pain.
In July, we met “our” birthmother. Samantha. Then we met her 3 children (the youngest a full brother to Isaac and looks just like him) and began a relationship. We traveled to White Cloud, Kansas quite often to visit and to get to know her. She had come “home” from Houston to have the baby and was living on an Indian reservation there. Things were going well, we adored Samantha and felt a connection with her like we had not had with Hannah's birthmother.
We ended up working with an agency that we would never work with again, nor would we recommend. They lied, and decieved us every step of the way. At one point, near Sam's delivery date, they even tried to talk her into picking another family. Don't remember why now– probably because we wanted them to do their job and our attorney ended up doing it for them! I do remember the 2 hour drive in the middle of the night (because she had no phone) to wake Sam up and talk to her and tell her how much we wanted to adopt her baby. Sam told us that night either we were going to raise her baby, or she was. There was going to be no other family.
Three weeks before “Nathan” was due. Yes, that's the name we picked out. Birthfather decided that he wasn't sure he'd relinquish rights. He said he “had to pray about it” We had been told that the social worker from the agency had talked to him but that day we found out their lie!
Shortly afterward I opened my Bible for some comforting words. And turned to Romans 9. As I was reading through it, God showed me that this was His promise to us. I called Shane over immediately and showed him and we claimed them together. God gave us peace.
9:1 I speak the truth in Christ-I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit- 2 I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. 3 For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, 4 the people of Israel. Theirs is the adoption as sons; theirs the divine glory, the covenants, the receiving of the law, the temple worship and the promises. 5 Theirs are the patriarchs, and from them is traced the human ancestry of Christ, who is God over all, forever praised! Amen. 6 It is not as though God's word had failed. For not all who are descended from Israel are Israel. 7 Nor because they are his descendants are they all Abraham's children. On the contrary, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” 8 In other words, it is not the natural children who are God's children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham's offspring. 9 For this was how the promise was stated: “At the appointed time I will return, and Sarah will have a son.”
10 Not only that, but Rebekah's children had one and the same father, our father Isaac. 11 Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad-in order that God's purpose in election might stand: 12 not by works but by him who calls-she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
14 What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15 For he says to Moses,
“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”
16 It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.
The verses in blue especially spoke to me, and I clung to them whenever doubts would rise. I would pray them back to the Father. Sam was scheduled for a C-section on Sept. 20, 1999 and we were scheduled to be there. But she went into labor that Saturday the 18th. We rushed there as fast as possible, but we missed his birth by about an hour. We saw Samantha and then saw “Isaac”. The doctor was funny, on the way down the hall, he stammered around and finally asked if we knew that the baby was mixed (meaning black). We assured him we did, but didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl. Of course we knew he was a boy, but was a little nervous before we were told– what if “he” had been a girl? He said it was a boy and we breathed… and we cryed when we saw him. He was beautiful. He had a head full of black hair– already over his ears. and a cute little birth mark on his right foot. That the nurse said she tried and tried to scrub off– lol.
But there were complications. His breathing wasn't as it should be. In the middle of the night they transferred him to another hospital with a neonatal unit. Samantha was scared … she thought we was going to die. The only time she saw him was in a little box on a huge stretcher in the middle of the night when they brought him to her room so she could sign the papers allowing him to be transferred.
We followed Isaac to Topeka the next morning and promised Sam that we would let her know how Isaac was. She was terrified. Samantha wanted to come. We called the social worker. She did nothing– big surprise. We had one car and had Hannah with us. Shane's parent had come up and brought her because we thought things were going well before we knew how serious his lungs were. Shane could not go get her because he had to work the next day. We finally told social worker that no matter the time it was, she WOULD go and get Sam from Hiawatha (where the hospital was) and bring her to the Ronald McDonald house in Topeka. She showed up about midnight with her. Shane had long since taken Hannah and gone home. I wheeled Samantha in the wheelchair to the neonatal unit and we went in together and saw Isaac. She was still afraid, but better. She stayed with me that night and a friend came and got her the next day. Amazing, no one understood the love we shared for Isaac and for each other. Adoptive Mom wheeling Birth Mom around the hospital it was a foreign concept.
I stayed with Isaac until he went home. (Shane came over several times,and one of the girls from church came and stayed with me one night so Hannah could stay too. Somehow they brought me a car. I think I went home one night, but was miserable being away from Isaac).
I wrote the verses God had given us on an index card and taped them with a family picture to the side of the bassinet. It was a bittersweet day when they put him on the respirator, he could now have the medicine he needed for his lungs to do what they needed to do. But he was on this big huge machine. But that was what turned him around. I think he was only on the respirator about 24 hours if I remember right– I try to forget). He had a blood transfusion, and several other procedures while he was there. But he was strong, the first day there, he turned his head from one side to the other. He's still strong and determined.
The day before he was released Samantha relinquished her rights. We had a little ceremony in the hospital chapel. We promised her we'd take good care of him. We also took the only 2 pictures of her we have that day. We said goodbye and it was goodbye. We talked to her once right after she went back to Texas almost 7 years ago. And haven't heard from her since. It has been hard for Isaac– he grieves her at times.
We brought Isaac home on a Saturday 2 weeks after his birth. Birthfather still had not relinquished. A week later and he finally did. We prayed and fasted that day because we had decided that we would have to call his bluff and tell him to come for this precious baby that we had grown to love already. About 8:00pm we felt hunger pains but didn't eat. About 30 minutes later our attorney called and said he had relinquished about 30 minutes before. Isaac would be ours!!!!!! We cried, and cried. Okay– I cried and cried. A couple of months later, we went to Kansas and finalized with a precious country judge that told us his political views and they were ours too.
Isaac is our “laughter” and the rest is history…