I have made this entry for my friends only because hopefully you all will understand that sometimes one just needs to rant a little. I am ranting here so I won't really stick my foot in my mouth otherwise.
The adoption organization we are using has a fairly new yahoo group. From my understanding it is meant to help us gain information, and to keep us informed on things we need to know.
One of these days I will learn! I have yet to be on a yahoo group that has not had issues at one time or another between it's members. And these are groups where the members are Christians. Someone says something and instead of thinking the best of the other person, they think the worst, and lash back. And then there's a big nasty “discussion” and then the moderator finally steps in and stops the “fight”. No, I have not been one in the middle of this mess, just an observer. Most often I end up unsubscribing to groups like this, But I really can't do that in this situation–at least until we get Dorcas home. This time, I am closer to being “in the middle” than I would like. I guess I stuck my foot in it earlier today and didn't even realize there was a pile of poo. I have gone back to digest, and will NOT be making further comments on the list– enough is enough.
Maybe I am really deceived, but for the most part, I would say I have been pretty patient and at peace about this whole delay with Dorcas's passport and the entire process. Yes, I have gotten impatient at times, but try to get myself out of the rut as quickly as possible by reminding myself that this is all in God's plan, His timing is perfect and whatever His time is, it is also His will. We haven't hounded the foster family for information about Dorcas (and haven't gotten an update on her or her weight in over a month–although we have gotten a few new pictures since then). I will occassionally email the contact stateside a line or two to see if there are any new developments. For the most part this happens after we've been told that there should be movement. I don't believe I have ever shot an email in frustration to the yahoo list or to the contact in the states. In fact, I have even attempted to smooth things over when emotions run high. My frustration largely comes from comments made by the staff than anything else going on. I have had my feelings hurt on several occassions and haven't relatiated although it would have been very easy to do so. And have in fact been in tears a couple of times over comments made, or emails sent.
We have several thousand dollars (most of which is on credit) tied up in this adoption that was final in Liberia almost 3 months ago. And we have no baby in our arms. We have crib, carseat, summer clothes that she'll never wear, snuggli's that I hope she won't be to big for by the time she gets here, bottles, formula, etc, etc, etc. But NO baby! They have our money, our life is on hold, we have things we want to do, but aren't sure if Shane will be traveling, we delayed Bubba's birthday party by a month, , our children don't understand and they are the ones that get offended!
I'm sorry folks, but I am not happy with this. We have 3 other adoptions under our belt. I have a degree in Social Work and have kept fairly up to date on the adoption issues since coming out of the workforce. In other words, I am not stupid! My husband is definately not stupid! Even the state of New Jersey social worker understood my frustration when we were told we couldn't adopt Little Bit because we homeschooled. She did not whine and cry back to me about how hard her life was, she let me have my say.