Being Right is More Important than the Relationship

We have had a nasty case of this in our house lately.  We have tried to teach our children that their relationship with their siblings is very important, and that it will be so important in later years.  We want them to be best friends.  We have worked at making them best friends now—only to fail miserably.  Or so it seems.  The following is only one example of recent events in our home.   

Princess came out grumpy this morning.  We had a late night, and it the results have been rearing their ugly head. 

This morning while coloring one of the pages from Renee Ellison’s coloring book I told you about a while back.  They were arguing over how many pages they had colored to date. 

Princess happened to be right.  There it began.  As I was trying to find out why I heard a "thud" in the kitchen this is the dialogue.

Mom:  What’s happening in there (I’m sitting about 10 feet away around the corner from them). 

Princess “Bubba poked me with a pencil so I pushed him" (another principle we’re failing at teaching– letting Daddy or Mommy, or God take "vengence")

After I complosed myself and was talking with them, I explained that even 5 minutes from now it won’t matter how many coloring sheets they’ve colored so far.  BUT, it will matter 5 minutes, and even 5 years from now how they treat each other concerning those coloring pages.  How sometimes we just need to overlook an offense and when we don’t it has become more important to win, than to have the relationship.  How the sin of selfishness has overthrown the gift of overlooking an offense.  This was such a meaningless situation, it would have been better for Princess to overlook the offense (if that is what really happened), than to “die on this hill”  Some causes are worth dying for—how many coloring sheets have been colored so far is not one of them. 

She is in her room right now, looking up verses to justify her behavior.  She won’t find any, so then she will look up verses showing her how she should have behaved.  Then she’ll more than likely come apologize to me and I’ll remind her to apologize to Bubba and all will be well in our little world again.  (hahahahahaha—if ya believe that, I got some swampland in FL I’ll sell ya).  But, she will be back in a right relationship with me, with brother and with God.  That will be worth postponing schoolwork. 

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One thought on “Being Right is More Important than the Relationship

  1. Oh, please don't think that you're failing! You're not! We have the same struggles in our house with our two new ones. But because we've beat this point like a dead horse with our other 5 children, at least they understand the concept.

    Keep teaching and keep making this a very important point! The fruits of this endeavor are amazing, to say the least. Being able to watch our 5 kids together brings such joy to my heart. Of course, there is one who just never seemed to bond with any of the others and seems to be more withdrawn from the family – that's his nature and besides, he's 17. It's sad that he doesn't have such a close bond with any of his brothers/sisters as they have with each other. These new ones are starting to see something, but I'm just not sure what it is they're seeing…

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