We have been learning a lot in our family lately. One of the things we’ve been striving to do is handling situations/attitudes, etc Bibically. Now this is something we’ve been working toward our entire life as parents (for that fact, our entire life as Christians). But we are in a situation where we are getting some wise counsel and learning some things we didn’t know before.
In the past when the children have squabbled, I have told them to work it out on their own, gotten frustrated, or ignored it. (You know, we’re all too tired at times to deal with the same thing for the 1500th time). But, God has been working in our house on calling things as the Bible calls them and handling things Biblically.
Instead of saying you’re behaving bratty. Now we make it a point to say "you’re acting rebellious" or "you’re disobeying". Or whatever Biblical term fits.
When one of the children are whining, complaining, grumbling, or arguing, we ask them:
"Are you handling this situation Biblically?" Most often they’ll say no, and I’ll say "so what are ya gonna do about it?" Sometimes they say "nothing" (imagine sullen voice, an octive lower than normal voice). But most often that is enough to get them to thinking about how to handle it biblically. And they are ready for repentance. If they do say "nothing", I send them to find Scripture that justifies their behavior. And ya know what? They never do, so then I send them back to find verses to tell them how they should be acting. And in a few minutes they are ready to repent and go on with the day.
If they are squabbling, we’ve gone to handling it Biblically as well.
1) Go to your brother/ sister and try to work it out.
2) take it to the authority (Dad or Mom)
3) choose to overlook the offense.
Many times, they choose number 3 and go on playing happily. If not, and they can’t work it out, they come to us and we ask if they’ve handled it Biblically. And help them work through the Biblical solution.
One more thing that is making huge a difference. We have always had our children apologize for the wrong they’ve committed and ask forgiveness. We’ve always made the offended party say "I forgive you" (not, oh that’s okay). But we’ve found that we are handling this wrong too. Apologizing as the world apologizes most often is not a true apology. Many times it comes with a "but" or an explaination. It also doesn’t give any hope for change in the offendee (is that a word?) to the offended party. What we’ve recently been taught is to call what we’ve done wrong, by the Biblical term, repent of the sin and ask forgiveness.
I sinned by having a bad attitude, I repent, please forgive me. Or even just I repent of ______, please forgive me. No "I’m sorry" just what I wrote. (tell me when you’ve heard that preached from a pulpit.)
Amazingly, since we’ve been handling things this way, the frustration level in our home has decrease substancially. Amazing what handling things Biblically can do. So are you handling it Biblically?