We are reading D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones book Studies in the Sermon on the Mount for our ladies Bible study at the church we are in the process of making home. All I can say is "WOW" So many things I never thought of before . I am realizing how prideful, and arrogant I truly am. But nothing has hit me like this paragraph on meekness:
Let me go further: the man who is meek is not even sensitive about himself. He is not always watching himself and his own interests. He is not always on the defensive. We all know about this, do we not? (how many, many times I have failed in this area). Is it not one of the greatest curses in life as a result of the fall– this sensitivity about self? We spend the whole of our lives watching ourselves.
(this is the part that got to me today)
But when a man becomes meek he has finished with all that: he no longer worries about himself and what other people say. (one thing Todd Wilson mention last weekend, was how terrible the peer pressure is between homeschooling parents. Worrying about what others are saying, or thinking about us). To be truly meek means we no longer protect ourselves, because we see nothing worth defending. (Oh do I fail miserably here). So we are not on the defesive: all that is gone. The man who is truly meek never pities himself, he is never sorry for himself. He never talks to himself and says," You are having a hard time, how unkind these people are not to understand you’. He never thinks: how wonderful I really am, if only other people gave me the chance.’ Self-pity! What hours and years we waste in this! (this is probably the most difficult to swallow– I like my "poor me" parties) But the man who has become meek has finished with all that. To be meek, in othe words, means that you have finshed with yourself altogether, and you come to see that you have no rights or deserts at all. You come to realize that nobody can harm you. John Bunyan puts it perfectly, "He that is down need fear no fall". (what a convicting quote). When a man truly sees himself, he knows nobody can say anything about him that is too bad. (don’t we try to defend it by saying "you’re a good person") You need not worry what men may say or do; you know you deserve it all and more. (Our best is no better than "dung" as Paul in his letter to the Phillipians puts it). Once again, therefore, I would define meekness like this. The man who is truly meek is the one who is amazed that God and man can think of himself as well as they do and treat him as well as they do. (Oh Lord, help me to be meek). That, it seems to me, is the essential quality.
This is not at all the way I have envisioned meekness. I have always associated it with being quiet and gentle, but that is not at all what this paragraph and the rest of the chapter describes. I was reminded of Bill Gothard’s information on yeilding rights when I read this the first time. Yeilding rights is meekness, because in our sinful, sinful state, we have no rights. I often pray that "I am nothing", but now I know that I have never really believed it. Because it is nearly impossible to understand how truly worthless we are without the blood of the Christ covering our sinfulness.
Oh Lord, Let me "finish with all that" I truly desire to be meek, to yield my rights. Lord, I do know in my head that I am nothing without you, but it’s so hard to apply that difficult acceptance to life. Especially when the guy in traffic cuts me off, or the children are "making my life miserable" or things haven’t gotten picked up the way they "should" or Precious wakes up 5 times a night, or…_____. And with all the psychobabble junk about "self-esteem and "my rights" being touted by the world. Father thank you for this mans thoughts. Thank you for opening my eyes to this truth. Now Lord, I pray that your Holy Spirit will apply it to my life. In Jesus Name, Amen.