Doing it All

After the Above Rubies retreat last fall, Kelly started a yahoo group for those of us that wanted to keep in touch and be encouraged.  I joined that group.  Today one of the messages on the digest was a confession of sorts about from one lady about not being taught how to cook, clean, sew, etc.  It got me thinking… here is my response.  I sure hope this will be less controversial than some other recent posts.

This is an interesting topic.  My Mom probably thinks she taught me how to do all these things.  I remember baking a cake one day.  Sewing some, etc.  But she never really showed me, and I didn’t do it often.  I rarely remember helping in the kitchen. (although I remember licking the beaters) I have family recipes because I asked for them.  I watched a lot.  I can sew, but not very well.  I can cook and bake.  And I’m learning how to do this healthier. My Dad also showed me a lot about cooking, since they divorced.  He had a huge garden for several years and we’d cook veggies all different ways and eat them as we cooked, so we weren’t very hungry when dinner time came.  I learned to make gravy from my grandma.   I subscribed to "A Tast of Home" and "Quick Cooking" and  bought cookbooks when we first married.  That is how I really learned to cook.   Flylady has helped me tremendously with housekeeping, although I don’t do all the missions etc.  We still have a lot of clutter in our home, but we have no basement for storage and our barn is leaky so what’s a girl to do?  

I do have a thought though.  Us wives and mothers compare ourselves to the Proverbs 31 woman often.  And beat ourselves up if we aren’t like her.  But we forget that she was a "perfect model" She was excellent in all things. 

What I’m trying to say here is no one is excellent at everything.  So why should we beat ourselves up for not being able to cook, clean, sew, quilt, bake, grind our own flour, crossstich, etc. etc. etc.  Maybe there are some out there that can "do it all" but who says we all have to?  Yes, I want to improve myself.  I want to sew cute matching dresses for the girls in my family. But honestly, I can probably buy them cheaper.  Could I "do it all" probably, but is it wise for me (not speaking to anyone else here) to do it all and sacrifice in other areas?

My husband is a wonderful man.  He provides well for us and takes care of us better than many husbands/fathers.  But he doesn’t know much about fixing cars, welding, roofing a house, etc.  His areas of "expertise" are marketing and sales, and preaching and teaching the Word, and he’s great at those things.
These thoughts just came to me as I was reading               ‘s  post.   Maybe I’m the only woman in the world that feels this way and I’m probably stepping out on a limb to even "vocalize" them but I really get discouraged after seeing my friends "do it all" and I simply can’t.



5 thoughts on “Doing it All

  1. There really is no one that can do it all perfectly!

    I can do many things, but certainly not "well" and most definitely not "perfect"! God gives each of us unique gifts and talents. How can we then use these talents to glorify God and minister to our families and to others?

    I have a hard enough time living up to my own expectations– let alone someone else's!


  2. No, I don't think you're the only one who feels that way. I'm one of those who used to beat myself up over not being able to keep an "immaculate" home. I've since realized that if I focus on what I can't do, then I'm robbing myself of my joy. But if I'm faithful to do what I can do (and don't allow myself to be lazy), then I find a lot of joy in serving my family.

    Here's another thought – in the Proverbs 31 days, women HAD to spin & weave & make clothes and a lot of things that are now hobbies for us. Crafting can be a good source of relaxation or a great creative outlet, or even a source of income, but it needs to be kept in focus. No one is "inferior" because she can't quilt!



  3. I agree. You don't have to be able to "do it all" to be a good wife and mother. Your mission is to make your house a home, not to win the Betty Crocker award. I love doing almost all domestic things and they seem to come easily for me. But I have met many great mothers who don't like cooking, etc., who are raising wonderful children and caring for satisfied husbands.



  4. …I'm in agreement with the other comments on this post but I really just wanted to leave a note to tell you how refreshing it is to find someone who just lays their beliefs out there and is willing to take the good and bad comments about them. Way to go!

    I'm also interested in your family. We adopted a little guy from Texas. He's now 3 1/2. Stop by and see us!



  5. I'm sorry you've gotten some yucky comments, but also thankful I don't hafta log in~LOL! and I got through today~WOOHOOO!

    I've heard before that the Proverbs 31 woman became all of this through the seasons of her life, and I like that idea… Great stuff~I too feel like I'm makin' bricks without straw! (((((HUGS))))) sandi


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