Shane took my coffee grounds out to the tomatoes tonight because I was too lazy to do it earlier (or too busy getting the boys haircuts, baths, and housecleaning done before Bible study tonight). I asked him why it doesn’t bother him to do what I should have done. He said "I have no expectations" I asked him how he can not have expectations. He said, he just didn’t. Then he said that he didn’t come into this marriage for him. But apparently I did. And while I’m at it, I guess I didn’t go into motherhood for them either… but for me.
This is my problem! I expect "things."
I expect my children to obey the first time. I expect my husband to do things the way I want them done. (Or to do what I don’t feel like doing). I expect the dog not to poo in the house. I expect traffic to be just as I want it to be. I expect!!!! I expect!!! And I expect!!!!
I should not expect. I should not expect anything! Period.
Okay, now that I think about it, I should except. But not the way I’ve been expecting things to be. I should expect for life to be hard. I should expect things to not go the way I plan. I should expect my children to need my guidance. I should expect my husband to need me to be his helpmeet. I should expect the dog to poo in the floor. He is still a puppy for goodness sake. (yes, on my blogging break, we found a new home for our "cat-dog" and got an adorable 7 month old silver poodle. We named him Ashur, so now we have Benjamin, our trusty choco lab, and Ashur. Children said "we only need 10 more dogs and we’ll have the 12 tribes of Judah" NO way!)
I continue to struggle with bitterness, anger, and frustration on a regular basis. Tonight, I am convinced that this is the reason… my expectations are misplaced.
Oh Lord! Help me to have proper, truthful expectations, and not the expectations that satan has been tempting me for oh so many years to have. I’m afraid Lord that "expectations" have become my terrible habit… please Lord fill me with your Holy Spirt to leave this habit behind and look ahead to the goal that you have set for me… not to the expectations I have of others.
Whew… that’s a heavy load.