Overcoming Shyness the Humanistic Way

I have been getting Dr. Mercola’s newsletter for a while.  Sometimes it is  weird.  And the comments can be even weirder.  Today, he had an article on how to overcome shyness.  The ideas he had weren’t bad, but this one comment… ugh!

I recently read a book on the Alexander Technique, as I was suffering with some back pain. The authour related bad posture to stress, which shyness and many other situations can be a major factor. A passage that stood about for me related to be people always trying to do the right thing, the author pointed out that this could be counter productive, in that we assume that we are bad and must try ever so hard to constantly good.

He recommended to accept that we have been made correctly and good and just dont do bad things! I am quite a shy person, but my self examination has been largely reduced using this logic. I now tend to see a tricky situation as a positive rather thinking that I might make an a** of myself.

Oh there are so many things wrong with this position. I give the guy that wrote the book the "stupid" award, but the people reading it and accepting it, get the "stupid, stupid" award.  The logical conclusion of what this guy is saying is that nothing we do is "bad"  so lets go there.  From this point of view, it is good to murder, rape, steal, divorce, abuse children ,  kill children,(abortion) drive drunk, etc, etc. etc. ???????????  

People, this is humanism at it’s core! 

It’s absolutely apparent to me that this author on the "Alexander technique"most definately doesn’t understand the grace of God.  We "run the race" to the best of our ability, when we place dead last, Jesus come’s along and gives us the Grand Prize, even though we ran a lousy race.  Yeah, my analogy is weak, but it’s the best I can do right now…  

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2 thoughts on “Overcoming Shyness the Humanistic Way

  1. I get Mercola's newsletters too. I always just skip the articles that aren't exclusively about health. I get too angry reading stuff like that!

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  2. Dear Christine,

    unfortunately I haven't read the newsletter you refer to, but according to your posting I belong to the stupid, stupid category. Maybe add a third stupid to it, as I not only read about the Alexander Technique, and think it's a great thing, but also started a training to become a teacher for it.

    Certainly no Alexander teacher would imply that things like rape or murder are good things, but I wouldn't neccessarily draw a straight line from back pain via shyness to violence like you did in your posting.

    The problem with "good" or "bad" is simply that value judgements won't help to change anything you would like to change. I feel sometimes overly shy myself, and tended to label my shyness as something bad, but that didn't help me in any way to overcome the shyness. Not only didn't I enjoy social situations as much as I wanted to, feeling bad about it created a vicious circle that prevented me to find out anything about my shyness.

    Turning this judgement around, simply accepting myself including the shyness, offered me a different perspective. That doesn't mean I turned instantly from an introvert to an extrovert, but it gave me the freedom to observe myself in a different way.

    A lot of people desire to do the "right thing", and give themselves a hard time for not doing so. The Alexander Technique is not about doing the right thing, it's more about stopping to do the wrong things. Judging yourself can stand in the way of finding out what you do, and how you do things in first place.

    Please don't judge a book by its cover, or the Alexander Technique by some statements that are hard to relate to without experiences with it.

    If shyness bothers you, I assume you might want to change it. As long as you see it as something bad, instead of accepting it (which is meant IMHO as seeing it as something good), it will be difficult to do something about it. And maybe "doing something about it" means rather observing yourself to find out what to do less.

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