This question has been on my mind lately. Recently, I was in a discussion with someone about God’s sovereignty as related to adoption. Her belief is that “the lady God intends to take responsibility for the child is the one He gives it to” (yes, this is her quote) and I see the logical conclusion to this statement being that any other position means the birthmother is out of God’s will. Somehow she tied this belief to being or not being quiverful. In essence what she said was: How can someone have a quiverful mindset and believe that adoption is part of God’s perfect plan for some children?
So, I’ve been thinking about the word quiverful and what some people call “the quiverful movement” and what it means or should mean.
So, what is quiverful? As a Christian woman, I believe that God is to determine the size of our family. That means, we don’t use birth-control (especially BCP that are abortifacents, and kills babies). That means we are content with the number of children God determines to be our “quiver” whether it be 1 child, 2 children or 24 children.
We have no biological children, but I can still believe that God can control the size of our family. In fact, Shane believed God should control the size of families as a young man. Not long after we were married, he gave me the book “The Way Home” by Mary Pride. I quickly became convinced that God should control the size of our family.
Having or not having children, does not make one quiverful,any more than being single means that a person does or doesn’t believe in marriage.
As an mother who has not birthed my children in my womb, here is how quiverful plays out in our family.
A. We don’t use birth control. We don’t “try” to have a baby. If I were to get pregnant, which after 16 years doesn’t seem likely although not impossible, we’d be thrilled, just as we’d be thrilled if God led us to adopt another child.
A. Each time we have updated out homestudy, it was because both Shane and I felt led to updated it.
God have Shane a dream about Princess when she was living with her birthmother at 6 months old. We “happened” to call the agency where birthmother was listed at just the right time. And each time subsequently, we can see God’s hand in updating our homestudy. And if you’re interested and don’t know our children’s stories, each one are on this blog listed under the adoption category.
Honestly, although the words have never been spoken, there are people who give the presentation that we cannot be quiverful because we have no biological children. In addition to that, there are people that have looked at us like Shane can’t be much of a man if he can’t even make a baby with me. Like I said, they don’t say this with those words, but when they’re showing off their newest child it’s like a “man trophy”… with a certain “look” in their eye… well…we know.
We have friends that have 2 or 3 children, they are often condemned by those in the “quiverful movement” because they don’t have more children.
I say those people have the number of children God intends for them to have right now…will God bless them with more? I have no idea. But WHO ARE WE to question the quiver of another???? When we do this, we are playing God and as far as I’m concerned there is only One.
If we are truly quiverful, we will understand that God blesses some quivers with more children, through the mother’s womb or through adoption. This doesn’t mean that we will judge those that have less children as “less holy” it just means that God has a different plan for their life.
We WANT to update our homestudy now… both of us. Really badly want to, but neither of us feel led to do so. Honestly, I don’t want our quiver to be full at 4 children. I want more! But I have resolved to be content and wait. If God gives another child, we will praise Him. If God doesn’t give us another child, we will be so very thankful for the 4 blessings we have and we will praise Him.