Death and Divorce are Not the Same

I have a friend, yep, one, lol.  We’ve never met irl, but I feel like I know her.  We were blogging buddies several years ago at HSB and I have grown to love this precious woman over the years.  A few years ago, her and her husband lost their youngest son in an accident.  I prayed as they mourned, I pray now from time to time when she shares that she is struggling, or when God lays her on my heart.  Sometimes when I’m awake during the night, I lay there and wonder if my friend is awake too and struggling to sleep and pray for her while I try counting sheep to lull myself back to dreamland.

Recently she posted on Facebook (too bad more people don’t blog anymore, I miss it), that it was hurtful when friends posted the ecards that make a statement similar to “we had a bad day, but my kids are alive”  Now, I perfectly understand why she would feel that way.  Even though that precious child is with the Lord, she cannot talk to, or snuggle her sweet child. I cannot imagine the pain her family has experienced from this tragedy and you are complaining about your child when she would give anything to be able to hold her precious darling one more time.

Personally, I would never post something like that.  I feel it is disrespectful to my children, and if we have a bad day, oftentimes it’s as much my fault, or more than theirs.  But, if taken to the “logical” conclusion it implies that one would desire to murder their child because the day was so bad.  Now, I know there is not one sane mother on the planet that would EVER want that to happen.  In other words, it makes light of sin.

Here’s the rub.. One of her friends posted the following:

“A friend of mine whose marriage had been completely destroyed and she was left as a single mom to 4 kids once posted how hurtful it was when people wrote things like “Today I celebrate 15 years of marriage to my best friend” or “My husband is the greatest most amazing hero ever” because that wasn’t her reality and the guilt, lies, condemnation, etc attacked every time. Since then I have tried to be more sensitive, but I know I screw up. Politics, marriage, children, abortion, the list goes on. May we all remember to think carefully and post lovingly.”

I’m not even going to address the issue of let’s be tolerant of everyone and therefore be intolerant.

I am going to address the fact that this woman is comparing the pain of a child DYING to feeling sorry for yourself because you’re not married?

I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out, or that you’re in a bad marriage, I know a few, but especially in this day an age, marriage  is an occasion to celebrate!  I can’t tell my fabulously, wonderful, incredible, hunk of a husband “Happy Anniversary” because it might hurt your feelings???  Really?????

There are SO many things wrong with this!  First of all, this isn’t even a comparison.  One cannot compare apples and oranges. There is nothing happy EVER about a child dying!  There is EVERYTHING happy and joyous about a good marriage!  While you may be sad about your situation, celebrate a marriage that HAS lasted!  Secondly, it discounts my sweet friend’s feelings, divorce is NOT the same as death!  Thirdly, these ecards make light of SIN; someone that gets hurt over me posting about my wonderful marriage, is focusing on what they don’t have, in other words, they’re being selfish!   Lastly, I’m not being unloving to you by posting my loving remarks about my husband, or children or whatever I have that you don’t.  I don’t get bent out of shape at my friends that drive BMW’s while I drive my Geo, why should you get bent out of shape because I have a wonderful marriage???