Refined by Fire

Several years ago there was a praise song that touched my heart- I loved singing it with hands raised in surrender to Him.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold
Refiner’s fire
My heart’s one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

Little did I know or think about what that REALLY meant.

Little did I know what that would MEAN we would go through, all those years ago.

Because, one must go through the FIRE to be refined!   Back then when I was singing in full surrender, life was good.  It was just Shane and I.  We were young and in luuuuuuuuuv.  No children to… well…. be children.  Only 2 of us, no chaos, clutter or crazy loud boys (and girls for those of you that know my precious Tabby Joy).

In case you don’t know a refining fire is not just a nice summer sun warmth on your face.

A refining fire is HOT!

We live in the country, so we can burn our trash.  Sometimes we burn big things like falling apart sofas that no one would even want if “hey, it’s free” on Craigslist.  When we’re burning a big pile, that fire gets hot.  So much so, that I step back.  According to How Stuff Works, wood starts burning at about 500 degrees F.

But even that’s not as hot as God’s furnace.

The melting point of gold is 1947.9741 °F

Think about that.   1947.9741 °F

Let that sink in.    1947.9741 °F

One more time.   1947.9741 °F

Let me write it out for you

Nineteen HUNDRED forty seven degrees Fahrenheit.

No how do ya feel about singing  “Purify my heart, let me be as gold?”

Me neither.

But complete surrender,  Saying Yes to God (as I have been doing in the online Bible study) means being ready to be refined as gold.

But I don’t think I would have sung that song with such abandon back then had I realized…

Friday was one of those days that could have been a disaster!

Yesterday afternoon, was one of those afternoons where everything could have been turned upside down.

A few years ago, both of them would have “ruined the day” and we might have recovered…

But, praise God they weren’t!

I called a family meeting Friday- a few years ago there would have been sighs and eye rolls and general yuck- and I don’t blame my children. In fact had I been them I would have reacted the same way.

Because back then family meetings were nothing even close to enjoyable. In fact, they were downright ugly. They usually lasted for at least an hour where I proceeded to tell the children everything they had done wrong. And how they needed to straighten up.

But yesterday the family meeting was a pep talk. I encouraged them to get back on track with their obedience and I talked to them about how God had refined our family.

That we had gone through the fire and had come out as gold.

That God had used those years to make us stronger and better together.

And, I even got close to saying that I was thankful for what we had gone through.

I’m almost there. And that’s saying a lot!

I was so angry at our circumstances.

So bitter.

I hated the doctors that had made me sick.

I hated the cycle we were in.

I hated not knowing when I would blow!  (and so did everybody else).

I hated the feeling of abandonment I felt from the God I had loved so much.

You name it, I hated it.

I couldn’t see that good could come from it.

But…

I’m beginning to see the good.

And I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be  one of those “Awesome God Stories” that I reserve for things like:

Each of our children’s adoption stories,

being provided for when Shane was unemployed- and not only that, but bills being paid off during that time too!

God healing in our son of his anger

And now–

our family story!

Satan wanted to make a terrible mess of our family. And for a period of time, he did just that!

But God used what Satan meant for evil and made our family beautiful through it.

Our God IS an AWESOME God!

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