I pray that it will encourage someone today that may be struggling with an adopted child.
All 4 of our blessings are adopted. And ALL of them have “Awesome God” stories.
But one of those Awesome God stories birthed quite hard.
Our precious Malachi struggled a LOT when he came home.
You see, birthmother had poisoned him with drugs and alcohol. And he KNEW it.
His foster mom told me that she came to visit him in the hospital when he was 3 months old (for a cleft lip repair)
And all of his stats SKYROCKETED!
And he SCREAMED!
I’m convinced He KNEW it was the woman that had poisoned him.
Fast forward 3 years.
Malachi came home on Leap day 2004.
He was still ANGRY! He would spend hours crying and screaming. So much that we would put him on the front porch for fear the neighbors would think we were beating him.
I would literally have to drag him out of stores because he would go limp and fall.
We left shoes behind.
Change was miserable.
Vacations for him meant spending time in the corner of a hotel room crying.
Any time anyone came or went he got wonky.
Holidays were NOT pleasant.
(Oh my word, sitting her writing this has me with tears in my eyes to think of everything my little man went through). And just in case your wondering, I have his permission to share his story because God did an AMAZING work in Him!
Progress was made! Much progress was made! But we just couldn’t get over that final hump.
One day I put him on the front porch, but it was bitterly cold outside and a neighbor called the police. (I had NO idea how cold it was or I would have never sent him outside that day).
That was the final straw. Something had to be done. I was ready to throw in the towel. But Shane convinced me to call our social worker and ask for help. She recommended a counselor that had just moved back to town. That had worked with hurting kids for many years.
And I called.
We had several sessions with her. She had trained with Nancy Thomas and knew what she was doing. She took nothing from him. She helped him bond with me. (Mothers are usually the ones that get the bulk of the anger acted out).
Eventually, he got to the point of being able to forgive his birthmother for poisoning him.
He was 7 when he wrote that letter.
No more screaming sessions. No more throwing shoes off in stores, no more going limp.
We’ve had some amazing vacations since then. No noses in the corner for this new creation.
I hate to think of what would have happened to our precious son had we given up on him. Knowing what I know about foster/adoption, my guess is it wouldn’t have been good
And we would have missed out on an amazing blessing!
*I realize sometimes it is necessary to dissolve an adoption. I know several families who have had to do that and the children have thrived in their new homes. God uses different people in different ways. If you are struggling with a difficult child, PLEASE leave a comment so I can encourage you in your journey!