Lately there seems to be a push for adoption. Especially among Evangelical Christians.
In case you haven’t noticed,
and… um…and… it’s kind of hard to miss…
we are an adoptive family.
So, of course, I’m all in favor of adoption. Our youngest daughter’s Liberian foster parents oldest daughter (are you still with me?) has begun a series about international adoption which got me to thinking once again about the subject.
Let me first state unashamedly that I am adoptive Mom.
I LOVE being the Mom to my children! Truth be told, sometimes I actually forget that they are adopted. I’ll say “you got that from me,” and mean it.
Sometimes it’s a joke to call out the word “genetics” when the occasion calls for it. Our definition of when the occasion calls for it is usually when someone does something silly, that may or may not be one of our traits, And all of us laugh! This is definitely more of an inside joke, but it works for us 🙂
My crazy husband has been known to tell someone “he gets that from me” when, say, for instance someone compliments Isaac’s violin playing… many times the person will go with it, not even realizing themselves that what Shane has said is entirely impossible.
It’s always fun to watch when Shane has done this
a bizarre look
enlighten their face,
and they’ll realize that Shane is full of bologna!
(mainly because Shane CANNOT play the violin at all, even after giving it a valiant effort and taking lessons, a few years ago) and then the realization will come….their face will curve into a smile.
Sometimes we joke about a glow stick being the only thing we see on our chocolate son in the dark because he’s wearing dark clothes too.
Why NOT? The fact is, and will remain, that our children look nothing like us, so why not rejoice in that fact instead of pretending that it doesn’t exist?
Of course this last little bit has absolutely nothing to do with the topic I want to write about… well, maybe a little but not enough, so off the bunny trail and back to it.
So back to adoption. Like I said, I’m all in favor of it.
But, only under the right circumstances.
What are those circumstances you ask?
The right circumstance does not involve being made to feel guilty by well meaning ministries if you do not want to, or have not adopted an “orphan.”
not everyone is called to adopt.
Maybe that will get me in trouble with some of you. Because afterall, the Bible says were supposed to “visit, or look after, orphans.” (James 1:27). However, what I say is true. God blesses some families to birth babies, some to birth a lot of babies. God blesses some families to adopt children. God calls some families to birth and adopt. And he calls others to remain childless. And just so you know, I will address the misuse of the verse in James in a future post.
This series will be real. I don’t hide things… I refuse to start now.
This series is most likely going to get me in trouble with at least some of those that are a part of the foster/adoption community; however, this is something I have thought about, chewed on, studied and processed for YEARS. It is not a fleeting thought. I assure you this series is not entered into lightly. I pray that you will read it as such. That you will give thought to what I say as a seasoned adoptive parent. NOT a perfect adoptive parent, but one with some insight because of my own personal experiences and because of watching other experiences unfold around me, and because of researching and hearing about even more situations.
I also have a bachelor’s degree in Social Work. Honestly, that doesn’t mean much to me. I have seen more unethical social workers in “the system” than I care to even recall over the years.
I do not say that to impress you with my degree (and let me assure you a BSW won’t get a person very far and really isn’t that impressive).
I do say that to let you know that I have been interested in these kind of issues even before we adopted. Even before I was married. At one time, before I knew how evil the social services system was, I even thought about going into that area of Social Work.
You need to know know that I don’t think we have to agree on everything, but I hope that I can help you to think about some things a little differently than you have before. I will also be open to any new information you can offer to me; however, I will warn you, it will be VERY difficult to change my perspective as this has been gelling for many years.
What I write will be from my perspective, from my own experiences, or from experiences that I am familiar with…
I welcome meaningful discussion in your comments. However, any comments made that are rude, distasteful or otherwise harmful to me or the cause of Christ will be removed promptly!
My blog, my rules 🙂