Courageous

P31 OBS Blog Hop
I’m blog hopping again with the Made to Crave study.   The book, group 25 (Hello you dear ladies!), the emails, videos ( I LOVED Christa’s victory story!), etc., have been a source of great encouragement to help me get back on track with my eating.

But I’ve also felt somewhat like a lone wolf.  Lysa says this book isn’t about dieting, but so often she mentions foods she’s avoiding or foods she’s eating.  Now mind you there’s nothing wrong with avoiding nasty white sugar, HFCS, or other “foods” that aren’t really foods.  There’s nothing wrong with eating apple slices instead of popcorn, but…

in my  mind, that’s a diet.

I just wish she would have said, “Hey Jesus girls, this is a diet, and I think this is the healthy way to eat.”

I admit, it takes a lot of self-control to eat fish when you’re body wants pasta.  But, I can still be a glutton by eating fish and broccoli instead of fried chicken, or carrot sticks instead of a cookie.  I’ve been there and done that.    But if I’m avoiding certain foods because I don’t have the self-control to eat them in moderation, then I’m inclined to think that I’m still making my belly my god.

Now, maybe I shouldn’t talk.  20 years ago this summer, I changed my eating lifestyle.  I ate as a thin-eater.  I ate exactly what I wanted when I wanted it.  I ate like a bird, and I was satisfied!  I could eat 1/2 of a burrito from Taco Bell and be satisfied.

Ladies I was wearing a size 6 and loving it and loving my Lord!  I did not miss that stuffed feeling.  Nor did I miss all the foods I love, because I ate them!  I was feeling fabulous!  I was FREE!

10 years later, life happened, and I lost my focus.  I gained the 40-50 pounds I lost again.   I slowly increased my food intake because I wasn’t paying attention.  Shane got laid off from his job, the church he was pastoring part-time, fell apart (truth is, it fell apart long before we got there, we just got stuck in the middle), there were some birth mother issues we were working out, family issues, etc.   Satan prowled like a roaring lion and defeated me in this area.  He won the  battle for a time.

I’d yo-yo between “I’ll try better” and cut down my portions, and “forget it, give me some more chocolate”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t lose any weight!

And I beat myself up for not being holy enough! Because if I was “right” with God I would be able to lose the weight.  (that’s part of the messed up idea I got from Weigh Down Workshop).

During that time, I also suspected my thyroid was out of whack.  I told my D.O. more than 10 years ago that I thought my thyroid wasn’t right … but the blood work always came back  within a normal range.  My doctor was satisfied, so I gave up on trying to convince him, and I got sicker, and sicker.

But, blood tests can lie!  About 3 years ago I discovered that my thyroid really was out of whack, just as I had suspected.

By this time, I had lost half of my eyebrows!

This is an advance symptom of hypothyroidism. Ladies, it was a happy day the first time I had an eyebrow wax after my brows had grown back!  I almost cried!

I have lost some weight since then and wasn’t even really trying because

I. was. afraid.

Yes, up until Made to Crave, I had been afraid to try again.And I almost didn’t sign up.  In fact I told my Kelly, my OBS FB small group leader I wouldn’t be back, but somehow I ended up back in the group after the gap study, AND I was signed up under my new FB account-I still don’t know how that happened!

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to lose weight.  I’ve heard all the stories about women “my age” that can’t lose weight because their metabolism changes.

I was afraid that it hadn’t really been my thyroid that had been keeping  me overweight.

That it was something within me…and I really was incapable of drawing close to God again.

But I was COURAGEOUS and went forward.

And Praise God I have lost weight these past 6 weeks!

Now mind you, my clothes aren’t falling off just yet.  That would have been an unreal expectation.  But I have gotten my focus back where it should be and have lost enough weight to know I if I keep doing the things I talked about last week, I can continue to drop the extra baggage.

I cannot tell you how happy I am to know that part of the problem the last 10 years, and maybe even the biggest part of the problem, was because my thyroid was out of balance.

Even though I won’t be joining the MTC Action Plan, I will be continuing on the journey of healthy eating (I’ve written my thoughts in the past), and will be continuing to eat less and crave God more.

Praise God our journey isn’t over, it’s just begun!

I leave you with this today.  Be courageous ladies!


Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Courageous

  1. Christine – Amen that our journey isn’t over, many of us are just beginning this life of living as an Overcomer. I’m so glad that God brought you some peace and better understanding as you’ve made your way through this study – and I pray He continues to deepen your desire to be obedient to Him, whatever that looks like specifically for you.

    🙂 Missy (OBS Blog Hop Team)

    Like

  2. Christine, God calls us to run our race and it is ok for it to be different and look different. For some folks, they might be challenged to give up some foods because those foods were never food for them, but that is their walk. Thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph!!

    Like

    • Valerie, it is absolutely ok for our races to be and look different! Maybe I didn’t make that point well, so I have rewritten some of the post to hopefully reflect that. Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s