This week marks my return to Proverbs 31 OBS. Already, God is speaking and I am listening.
I’d like to expound on a verse Lysa mentions in chapter 2 of The Best Yes.
Well, ok, not exactly expound…I would like to tell you where this verse smacked me right between the eyes.
In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have NONE of it (emphasis mine).
You said,’No, we will flee on horses.’
I am here sitting quietly, it’s early (or very late) depending on your perspective. And God just caught my attention!
And I realize
I. have. been. fleeing.
No, not on a literal horse. We have one cow- no horses.
I have been saying no to God. I have been saying no to the very things God commands me to say yes to!
I have been holding on to the past. I have been letting go slowly, opening my hands little by little to release the pain. But I am in rebellion and have been miserable there!
This is not where God wants me.
I have not be trusting in the Almighty to take care of me or my family.
I have been frustrated because the van that God provided hasn’t been to my liking.
I’ve been wrong.
Today! Right now! I purpose to be thankful for that van. Even though I don’t like the color (gold), it doesn’t have roll down middle windows like my old van, it had air conditioning problems that were supposed to be fixed before we bought it and weren’t. It has an exterior leak somewhere in the back of the car that has caused some yucky mildew on the carpet in the back, and just yesterday, what we thought was a flat tire turned out to be a broken suspension spring.
Wonder how much THAT is gonna cost?!?
Oh! Whoops! I’m supposed to be being thankful for that van, aren’t I?
I am thankful that the van was in our driveway when we discovered the flat tire and that we weren’t stranded on the side of the road. Or worse.
I am thankful that even though it will take some juggling, we have extra vehicles to get us where we need to go later today.
God KNEW the exact problems we were going to have with that van. He allowed it to be sold to us KNOWING we were going to have problems. And truth be told, the Mazda van we had that I loved so much had it’s share of problems. We had not even owned it a year (probably about the same length of time we’ve owned this van) and the motor went bad-and in case you don’t know, no one makes an aftermarket engine for a Mazda-at least they didn’t 10 years ago.
Several thousand dollars later, we had a new engine that lasted 10 years.
Maybe God’s doing the same with the Honda- getting all the little junk out of the way so we can drive it until no one can drive it anymore.
The problems we have had with the Odyssey seem to be common Honda problems and even with what suspension repair it will need- it’s highly unlikely that we will spend anywhere near what we spent for a new/used engine for the Mazda.
(I want you dear readers to know just how hard I am trying to refrain from adding the word “yet” to that last sentence).
But it’s not just the van. The van is only the most recent thing.
There are other areas- I have been holding tightly.
Repenting? Yes, when needed; but not resting, not trusting.
But fleeing on horses to what I thought was best!
Oh when will I learn that MY best by itself is not good enough???
My piddly little human attempt at trust/faith/hope/love in Him and for Him + God’s grace is enough!
(In other words, God’s grace IS enough).
Oh Lord thank you for showing me the way; for drawing me to you. For saving me, redeeming me!
Help me walk in your way.
In the way of trust.
In the way of faith.
In the way of hope.
And in the way of YOUR love to desecrate the idols in my life! (verse 22)
Maybe it’s time for that red shelby stripe on the hood of the Odyssey. And some curly q pinstripes down the side to make it mine. That is-after it gets out of the shop. 🙂