Yesterday afternoon was a rough one for me. God made it very clear to me that something I have been involved in for several years, and that is very near and dear to my heart is over. And unless something drastically changes, this is most likely a permanent no. When God slams a door it’s hard not to listen.
This happened to us at least once before. The “Loud and Clear NO” that is. (I’m wondering if Lysa Terkeurst will get to that “no” in the Proverbs 31 OBS study I’m doing right now “The Best Yes”).
Several years ago, we were attending a church that we were certain God was leading us to leave. We had set a last Sunday date, but were having reservations. We loved the people there very much, and they had been very good to us. So we decided to stay for a while longer. That first Sunday after our “deadline”, the Pastor preached something that didn’t sit well with Shane or I at all. We looked at each other with that knowing look. Yep, the door was slammed shut and we got the message loud and clear! The next Sunday, we weren’t there. We still love the people there dearly and have very fond memories of or church family there; but that church was, and still is, a no for us.
This situation happened very similarly. I had already resigned; but was still planning to continue to volunteer on a much smaller scale. But yesterday afternoon something happened that gave me my “Loud and Clear NO!” I am very sad for the way this ended. I feel trampled over and used. But I also know that I’m not the first person to be treated so poorly, so that gives me a strange comfort.
Sleep was not so good last night, BUT it was better than I expected after having been dealt a hand like yesterday’s, so I’m calling it success.
And I am determined that no matter how sad, mad, disappointed, or frustrated I am at these circumstances, I will choose to look at the positive.
My family and friends will get much more of my attention. No more approving yahoo group messages while on vacation. No more “I have to call this person back.” No more “I’m sorry I was on the phone so long.” No more “I’m working on this email, I’ll be right there.” No more evenings away from my family. And, I’ll actually get to enjoy the conference that I have worked tirelessly at for the past few years instead of being behind a table at a booth the entire weekend because there was no one else.
While there may or may not be anyone else to do the job, but God has shown me crystal clearly that it’s not my responsibility. That’s an unfortunate repercussion when bridges are burnt…and that’s sad indeed
But I will rest.
Have a GREAT Saturday Y’all!