A Time to be Disappointed

Okay folks time to be real.  I’m having a hard time today.  I started writing this post from the perspective of not being thankful. but that ‘s not it.  I AM thankful!  There are many things to be thankful and I AM thankful for many things. Too many to recount, but here are a few.  I’m thankful for my Savior who loves me even when I am mucked over with nastiness, I’m thankful for my family, I’m thankful for my sweet daughters wonderful doctors report, and that she wasn’t more severely injured in the accident she was in a few weeks ago.  For the new to us car, for my Uncle’s continually improving health after the by-pass surgery that was the “only option” for him because of his other many health problems.  I’m thankful for the wonderful memories that were made this year!  I’m thankful for the godly young men and ladies my children are becoming.  I’m VERY thankful for 20 years with my darling Shane…


I’m not talking about those things, and I don’t even know if I can explain it, but I have to try because I WANT to get out of this funk I’m in…before everyone else gets up.

Maybe it’s more disappointment than being ungrateful…

disappointed at circumstances.

Our home will only boast of 3 extras at our dinner table today.  Usually, our house if FULL.  11 even feels a little empty.  And that’s about the minimum we’ve ever had at our place for Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is one of those times of years where we LOVE a full house!

The excitement builds. Everyone is involved.  Sweet potato casserole is assembled, pies are baked, cranberry sauce is made.  A turkey is covered with bacon and smoked overnight. Memories are made. (and we did those things this year).

The next morning, we anxiously await the arrival of cars in our driveway.

Today, it will be different.

One car will arrive in our driveway. Shane’s Aunt and Uncle, one other guest will be at our table.

Don’t get me wrong, for those 3 we are grateful.

But the full house will be missed.

There seems to be a good reason.

Grandma is NOT able to travel.  She’s declining rapidly since Grandpa left this world for his eternal home a few weeks ago.

We’ll get together tomorrow.

What’s different? Today?  Tomorrow?

Except that tomorrow it will be different.

It won’t be Thanksgiving.

It won’t be the day where we’ve gathered together for I don’t know how many years, just like most families all over the country.

It will be the day after the day that everyone gathers together to gather around turkey and fixins.

I’m reading on Facebook about people traveling hours to be with family today…yet we live ONE hour away and there will be no gathering.  Hmmmmm…maybe that’s it!  It’s the one hour thing that is the kicker to me.  It’s not like we’re miles and miles apart.  We don’t have to cross state lines, heck, we only have to cross one county line.

We’re ALL disappointed! In fact yesterdays preparations did NOT go well.

I’m trying to put on my brave face, but honestly, I’m not doing very well. And neither is anyone else.

I’m not used to this.

Even in my own whacked out family growing up, we always came together (mostly) genuinely happy to see each other. We gathered at Grandma’s on Thanksgiving, (Dad’s meal was at noon and Grandma’s was at 5ish-talk about turkey overload…), and my Aunt and Uncles at Christmas (usually Christmas Eve with them and Christmas day with Dad).

There wouldn’t be that many of us at Grandma’s, 8 if I’m counting everyone; but we were all always there.

We’d put our best faces forward.  Put up with the grumpy Uncle (on my mother’s side).

There would be no snarky comments.  No nasty put downs.  No stress or tension that I could feel.

Those things would be put aside for the day.

There would be pleasant conversation…well, except for the grumpy Uncle, but even he could find a smile that day.

Or maybe everyone was just good at pretending. But forgive me if I continue in my own little fantasy land.

We enjoyed.  We laughed.  We were family.

Same with my Daddy’s family.  Love covers a multitude of sins and when we’re together, we put aside our differences.  We enjoy! We love.  And we genuinely have a wonderful time together…at least I always did/do

side note:  Malachi made the pecan pie with honey this year, a new recipe, and I’m not sure it turned out right.


***  Malachi’s pecan pie was different but very good.  We’ve had a great day.  Uncle Ralph had a GREAT praise to share.  And the kids have had a BLAST playing games, cards, throwing the football, jumping on the trampoline