We started out as on of “those” homeschool families. The ones that dressed alike, read Michael and Debbie Pearl, “never” raised our voices to our children, in other words,
We did everything perfectly.
You know, like on the cover of all the homeschool magazines?
The life happened.
And now-well, we’re not picture perfect.
We didn’t do everything right.
In fact, we did and still do many things wrong.
It’s taken me many years to realize that EVERY family does many things wrong.
Even those on the covers of homeschool magazines.
While I am thankful for the direction these families and others like them give, it’s much more comforting to me to hear about Todd Wilson leaving his wife in the r.v. with puking kids while he speaks about imperfect parenting.
It makes it real.
Truth be told, I still struggle with comparisons and if only’s.
If only I hadn’t gotten sick.
If only Malachi hadn’t come to us so messed up.
If only I hadn’t gotten sidetracked with life in the real world.
If only I had continued to parent a certain way.
Where my voice was never raised and each child respectfully answered each time I called to them in my best Donna Reed syrupy sweet manner.
If only I had kids like “them.” The picture perfect ones- that never talked back, always obeyed “the first time,” had spotlessly clean rooms, etc.
We’d have the perfect family.
But the truth is, we don’t.
And neither do those picture perfect families.
Instead we have the family much like everyone else’s family.
With children that bicker on Christmas day (or any other day.)
Whose kid sometimes forgets deodorant, or doesn’t comb their hair.
Who has to be told “100 times” to put away something.
Children (and parents) that sometimes use ugly words or have bad attitudes.
The truth is that no matter how picture perfect a family is- it just aint so.
There’s no such thing as perfect family.
Not the Pearls, Campbells, or those we see in our perfect homeschool circles. Not Donna Reed (ANY family can be perfect with a script) or that family on the cover of the latest issue of “Perfect Homeschool Family” magazine.
Those are only snippets we see in those families that appear perfect to us because we only see what they want to show us.
But they can’t be perfect.
Because none of us are without sin. No one is perfect. So no perfect families.
Only short picture perfect moments in time.
And God’s grace.
Each of our families is perfectly the way God knew they were going to be.
Perfect with personality. Aka, imperfect.
That perfect imperfection has made our family what it is. Has made each member the way they are. For what purpose? I don’t know. I may never know. But I know whatever their purpose, God will be glorified. And I am content in not knowing, in seeing how life unfolds in our future.
Does that mean I give up trying to shape and mold my children in God’s image.
It means that I realize I’m going to fail.
But I get back up again. Brush off the dirt, grime and muck that our detour left behind and continue the journey.
Loving. Forgiving. Graciously molding and re-molding the lives God has entrusted to me within the opportunities that God allows.
And then I give the rest to Him.
He continues the job on His potter’s wheel. Throughout the rest of our lives we are molded for the work He has for us.
Until our work on earth is done and we rest with Him in Glory.
Thanks be to God!